Saturday, October 16, 2010

I'm Ready

Tonight I was "looking back" at old photos of the kids. I was in our 2008 folder on the computer and then I stumbled across some pictures that actually had me in them. I was needless to say shocked at what I saw. I was sad, mortified, jaw to the floor, emotional, the list could go on and on.
As those close to me know, I've been on my "weight loss journey" since February of this year. And I have FINALLY not given up or thrown in the towel and said "screw it", and went and ate a package of oreos. I'm not sure what snapped in my brain. It could be knowing we're done having children. It could be that I feel older and more mature. More in control of ME for once in my life. Not sure what the one key thing has been. I know for sure, that my motto has been "Moving Forward". I have messed up sooooo many times since February, but the only thing I did differently this time, was move forward instead of give up.
I've known in the back of my mind that I'd do this post eventually. I wanted to wait until I lost about 25 more pounds. But I just really wanted to share my before and current (Not "After" Yet) pictures. When I'm completely satisfied with my accomplishments and achievements I'll post the before and after. But for now, It's the 'before and current' shots. I'm still a little embarrassed that I was ever this big. Please be kind, and know that this is a very soft spot in my heart still. I see these pictures and I see and feel the pain I know I was feeling. However, I'm so happy now, so full of energy and self worth.
I feel like I have to share.

This is my heaviest EVER. 323 lbs! (my heart breaks to see it)


Yes I included a pic of my backside.

Halloween 2008

Beach 2008

Current: 191 lbs. Yeah, that's still a big number. But keep in mind I'm 5'11" tall! I should weigh about 160-170. I've come soooo far!
Rear shot, just so you can see the comparison!

Side shot
p.s. Yes these are stinking tight jeans, but guess who's they are? Darren's! Yep, that's right! I'm back into those jeans for the first time in 13 years! I'm almost brought to tears at this journey I've been on.
And just a word to my former "big" self: I love you. You grew 4 beautiful children inside your body. You have taken me everywhere in life. You have held crying babies, cared for friends in need. You have served your callings in the church well. You were broken inside. Scarred from the past. You are healing, I love you big or small, and I'm proud of you!

18 comments:

Kate said...

this seriously made me cry. {granted, i'm prego and emotional lately} but, you are so amazing. a-maz-ing! you need to wear stinkin tight jeans more often. you're lookin hot! :)
keep it up girl! this is who you are now--no stressing out this next month, cause you are going to reach your goal! i know it! even if i have to drag my butt to the gym with you!

Brewer Bunch said...

WOW!!!!! Robin - that is AMAZING!!!! I am so in awe of you and your determination!

You go girl!!!

Now I'm really sad you can't come for Thanksgiving so we can al revel in it together :).

Wish upon a Starr said...

Robin that is sooooo great!! What have you been doing to loose the weight? I expect to see more pictures of you on your blog now!! You look great!!

Whitney said...

Robin,
I too am in tears. Everything you said was so heartfelt and sincere. I am super proud of you. Not only for your hard work for your outer self but the beautiful woman you are on the inside also. You are such an inspiration, thanks for the reminder to not give up when we "mess up". I can apply this to so many things in my life. Way too keep going! You look BEAUTIFUL!

Rick, Debi, Loni, and Ada said...

Wowser. I think you are one hot momma! I told you you really have no hips! You can say I have no waist which is fine too....I don't have a waist and never will. I don't have an hour glass shape. You probably will have one soon! I like looking at your backside at church is that bad? Love you hotty! Debi

Debbie said...

Robin, Robin, Robin....you look FANTASTIC lady!!!!
You have always been a beautiful woman on the outside, but most importantly on the inside. I remember the first time I met you. Bri had told me how much she loved you and that I would too. She was soooo right!!
I am so happy you are doing this for yourself. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their Mommy and now especially, a healthy Mommy. Keep up the good work!!!

Chelsea Cisneros said...

WOw, RObin really you made me cry. I am so proud of you! You are such an example to us all! I am in awe of your determination and success! I love you!!! I know you will reach your goal, you have already proven what you are made of! You look so good and are so beautiful inside and out! When I "grow up" I want to be like you ;)!

Jana said...

Holy Moly Robin, you look amazing! That is so impressive. I remember way back in Galveston when you talked about how you were going to do this. I know it takes a lot of work and I think it's incredible that you are meeting your goal. You are such a lovely person. I'm glad you are feeling that's true yourself these days. And for the record, I've always thought you were beautiful.

Laura said...

Remember when I left, I made you promise to post a picture of how you were doing with your weight loss? ROBIN!! You are doing GREAT! You look awesome!! The former 'big' self will always be a part of you, but this is who you are now, you've come so far and I'm so proud of you. Love and miss you!!!

Ramanda said...

I really needed this post and it definitely brought me to tears! I struggle SO much with my weight and losing weight. It is motivating and gives me hope that if you can conquer your strugle that I can too! WAY TO GO! You look fan-freaking-tastic and you should be very proud of all that you have accomplished! Hopefully I can follow you with my own weight loss victory post! Thanks for being so inspiring!

Alan said...

Simply amazing. And inspiring. You look great!

Mike and Andrea McEntire said...

All I can say is WOW Robin. You are awesome. That is truly incredible. It shows so much self-control. So many repeated actions to try and break old habits. You are AWESOME girl. You totally rock. What was your secret? P.S. I expect to see more pics of you on your blog now. I agree with Jana, I always thought you were beautiful. Love you girl, I am SO proud of you.

shay and nick* said...

You made me cry :) I love you so much, you really are such an amazing woman and friend. I'll never forget when I first met you as your visiting teacher and I left your house thinking you were the most welcoming, accepting, and kind person I had ever met. I am so proud of you for having such determination to make yourself the person you want to be- its not about weight, but how you feel inside, and if you feel great now, that is who you are supposed to be- nothing holding you back! You were always beautiful and I am sure you have made such an impact on your kids through being so motivated and such an INCREDIBLE mom. You are supermom :) Well You look amazing, seriously incredible... and not just because you lost weight... because you are GLOWING!! I love you!

Shan said...

You are so INSPIRING! I've been going to the gym every morning this week just because of hearing about your journey, commitment, determination... I love that motto of "moving forward"! I am so proud of you!! I completely agree about you being always beautiful on the inside and out. And Darren's jeans!!!! I love it!!! I love to hear about how you feel inside about what has happened to your healthier self. INSPIRING!!

Leigh said...

Robin you look amazing! I'm so happy that your body is strong and healthy. I love that you are able to look back with a positive attitude and at the same time look forward with focus and determination. Is there anything you can't do? Thank you for sharing!

Barnes Family said...

WOW!! You look so great!! What's your secret? You're an inspiration. I love your hair too so cute!

Sue Howe said...

Robin, You are so wonderful. I love you so much. You have my heart.

Chel said...

Robin, this is Jen's sister-in-law...

Beautiful post: both the girl and the words... :)

I love how you talk about your emotional journey not the "how tos".

Thanks for the great read-!