Monday, November 10, 2008

Deep breath, release.....

Where to start.... Life has been stressful lately. Only those really close to me know of the extent. I guess I'm ready to share some of it. Basically in a nut shell I was tested this pregnancy for being a cystic fibrosis gene carrier (it's a new test, thus being the reason I haven't been tested before). I was a positive carrier. So, next they wanted to test my hubby. And guess what??? He's a positive carrier too! yippee! So we find out that we've basically been lucky or blessed or whatever you want to call it that our already 3 kids haven't gotten the disease. With each pregnancy there is a 25% chance the baby will get it. Long story short, and after many dr. apts and tests, I'm just ready to be done worrying about it all. The only way to find out "for sure" right now would be to do an amniocentesis. It was scheduled for Wednesday, but after much thought, prayer and advise from my brother Jerry the doc, I've chosen to wait till birth to find out. Knowing now will not change anything, they can't fix it if it does have it. It's not a curable disease any way.
Enough about that. Also, in my mind this baby was a girl. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I have enough boys, I only have one daughter. I've given away all my baby boy stuff, and I have tons of cute baby girl stuff that Lily barely touched. I've loved having a daughter and doing hair (now that she finally grew some), I've enjoyed pink after seeing blue for oh so long, well guess what we see between baby 4's legs? Yup "boy parts". To be honest, I was really sad. It makes me feel bad for the baby that I'm sad it's not a girl. I will love the baby and I will get over it and I'll know in the end that I couldn't of had any other baby, blah blah blah, but for right now, I want to morn. Lily and I are it as far as females go, I know what it's like growing up with all brothers, yes it's fun, but it also isn't at times. All you have is your mom to play with. and the poor baby will be really far about from his brothers, thus being played with and dressed up by his sister. Ahhh, I'll get over the disappointment, I'm just bummed for the moment.
Here are some pics from the ultrasound. The classic bottom looking up shot of the "boy parts" and then the face, which by the way looks ticked off. He's probably mad at his mother for not wanting a boy. I promise I'll learn to love you boy! I promise, just not for another few hours! :) And here's Ethan's 2nd grade pics. He's such a handsome little devil. I love him so much, love them all so much, and I'm eternally grateful they have been healthy despite the recent "findings" of their retarded mutant gene holding parents!

I don't know what else that could be between the baby's legs, it certainly doesn't give room for guessing. I guess I could hope that the baby GIRL is holding her hand down there, but I'm thinking not so.

Here's the hilarious face shot, doesn't the baby look ticked off? The dr. laughed and said, it was just the position and time the shot was taken.

Here's my oldest son Ethan. Cutie pie!


Debbie said...

Hey Robin, this is Debbie, Bri's Mom. I have looked at your Blog before and love seeing how adorable your kids are. They have gotten so big. Congratulations on the new little guy too. Just think how special that makes Lily now and how unique your relationship with her will always be. I have thought about writing to you a few times, but now I have been "pushed" to do it by Briana. She can't bear to ask you one more time for your sweet potato fries recipe. She has resorted to asking her mother to do her dirty work!! Sooooooo I am asking for her, will you please send it to her AGAIN? LOL Take care, and thanks ahead of time, from Bri.

Kate said...

oh robin!
first off, i am glad you decided against the amniocentesis. hopefully you won't be stressed out as much now! you shouldn't be! everything will be fine! dangit! :)
i didn't realize your ultrasound was today. congrats on the boy. you make REALLY cute boys, (and lily is a cutie too!) but your boys are so stinkin handsome!

Mannclan02 said...

LOL!! I can't take her anywhere! Anyway, we've talked, but I, too and glad you decided against the amnio. My mom's right, your relationship with Lily will be even that much more special. I LOVE YOU! Hang in there, and you've got my number anytime you need stress release! BOYS ROCK!!

Brooke said...

Robin, you are so blessed. I am glad you and Darren are healthy and your children are healthy. You will be able to deal with whatever comes your way, even another BOY! Love the ultrasound shots. That boy isn't shy.
Ethan, what a cute boy.

Rick, Debi, and Loni said...

Hey Rockin Robin,I am sure no one has ever called you that! I was hoping for a boy so if you ever want to trade we can! Loni may fight me on that one though, she wanted a girl all along. Sorry you had to stress out about your is no fun finding that kind of stuff out. I am glad that all has been well with your kids and I know it will keep being well....just pray lots and lots and lots! Thanks for going tonight. Don't have too much fun! Cub scouts rock! Ha ha. Debi

Ramanda said...

You poor girl! You have every right to be sad for awhile and once he gets here you will just be able to love him and deal with the fact that he isn't a pink little girl!
Holy stress with all of that testing! I like that scripture in D&C that says all things shall give thee experience and shall be for your good. That one gets me through many a trials!

You are definitely in my prayers!

Cara said...

I am so sorry that you aren't getting what you want. I personally want a boy so badly and so does my DH but his mom reminded us that our child already chose us in heaven and we therefore don't get to choose. It is kind of a disapppointment but in the end you know you will love and cherish this one as much as the rest! Hope this helped! Your boy's pictures are so cute!

Tamara said...

Hey Robin! I just wanted to let you know that we are keeping you in our prayers. Take care and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Slaugh Family said...

Hey I am sorry to hear about everything that is happening now but I really believe that it will work out and he will be happy and healthy and I know what it is like to want a certain sex and then get the other, I wanted a boy so bad with my second and I ended up with Timberlyn, that sounds bad doesn't it? I do love her and I know you will love this baby as much as you love the other 3, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.