Deep breath, release.....

Where to start.... Life has been stressful lately. Only those really close to me know of the extent. I guess I'm ready to share some of it. Basically in a nut shell I was tested this pregnancy for being a cystic fibrosis gene carrier (it's a new test, thus being the reason I haven't been tested before). I was a positive carrier. So, next they wanted to test my hubby. And guess what??? He's a positive carrier too! yippee! So we find out that we've basically been lucky or blessed or whatever you want to call it that our already 3 kids haven't gotten the disease. With each pregnancy there is a 25% chance the baby will get it. Long story short, and after many dr. apts and tests, I'm just ready to be done worrying about it all. The only way to find out "for sure" right now would be to do an amniocentesis. It was scheduled for Wednesday, but after much thought, prayer and advise from my brother Jerry the doc, I've chosen to wait till birth to find out. Knowing now will not change anything, they can't fix it if it does have it. It's not a curable disease any way.
Enough about that. Also, in my mind this baby was a girl. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I have enough boys, I only have one daughter. I've given away all my baby boy stuff, and I have tons of cute baby girl stuff that Lily barely touched. I've loved having a daughter and doing hair (now that she finally grew some), I've enjoyed pink after seeing blue for oh so long, well guess what we see between baby 4's legs? Yup "boy parts". To be honest, I was really sad. It makes me feel bad for the baby that I'm sad it's not a girl. I will love the baby and I will get over it and I'll know in the end that I couldn't of had any other baby, blah blah blah, but for right now, I want to morn. Lily and I are it as far as females go, I know what it's like growing up with all brothers, yes it's fun, but it also isn't at times. All you have is your mom to play with. and the poor baby will be really far about from his brothers, thus being played with and dressed up by his sister. Ahhh, I'll get over the disappointment, I'm just bummed for the moment.
Here are some pics from the ultrasound. The classic bottom looking up shot of the "boy parts" and then the face, which by the way looks ticked off. He's probably mad at his mother for not wanting a boy. I promise I'll learn to love you boy! I promise, just not for another few hours! :) And here's Ethan's 2nd grade pics. He's such a handsome little devil. I love him so much, love them all so much, and I'm eternally grateful they have been healthy despite the recent "findings" of their retarded mutant gene holding parents!


I don't know what else that could be between the baby's legs, it certainly doesn't give room for guessing. I guess I could hope that the baby GIRL is holding her hand down there, but I'm thinking not so.


Here's the hilarious face shot, doesn't the baby look ticked off? The dr. laughed and said, it was just the position and time the shot was taken.

Here's my oldest son Ethan. Cutie pie!